An Open Letter of Prodigal Daughter

I don't actully know how to start. I have many words in mind that I cannot put into words. Probably, it is shocking to know that I am writing an open letter as Prodigal Daughter. Weird huh? Maybe some of you thinking,"bakit niya sinabing Prodigal Daughter sya? E hindi naman sya mukhang nag-backslide", or maybe some of you might question, "diba leader siya sa church? tagal niya ng Christian e, anong problema nya?". Regardless what you guys might think about this letter, I know I have to do it. At the end of this letter I know that many things would change. Not just in me, but even to other Christians out there.

I remember, someone told me that I am daughter of the Most High King. Parang joke diba? Until I experienced that kind of feeling. Anak ng Diyos kaya naman I live my life like a Princess. I served my Heavenly Father's kingdom. I dressed up like one, representing Him even in my physical appearance. Talked and acted like noble one. Loving His people the way He loved them. Sabi nga, Kingdom mindset, Kingdom living. I was happy, I was actually joyful back then.

Until one day, I woke up that I am tired of it. Because, it seems like I was the only one giving away. Walang balik. Nakakapagod din. Minsan pa, may mga unanswered request. Minsan pa, left out, not being appreciated. tapos most of the time, sicked and unwell physically. So, I started to think of living the way I want to live my life. Live life to the fullest. Kita ko yung iba, masaya naman sila e. Mukha nga silang walang problema. Chill lang. Naisip ko, I can do it on my own. In my mind, nakakapagod kasi pala maging prinsesa. Ok na ako maging ordinary lang. Atleast, I can do whatever I want.

I know some of you seeing me sa church, doing church thing sunday after sunday. But actually, my heart wasn't there ng buo. 50% lang, for the sake na makita sa simbahan. Saka, sabi kasi don't isolate from the people of God. But even if I am inside the church, surrounded by my friends in church. I feel like I am not with them, or they are not with me. Seem like hindi ako umalis physically pero in my heart, malayo na ako. Prodigal daughter by heart kung iisipin. And honestly it was more dangerous. Really dangerous.

I lived that kind of Christian life for almost a year. Akala ko, settle na ako dun.

But there's still void that need to fill in. Why I am still unhappy? Why it becomes more difficult? Why still feel alone, to nth power pa yung level. I am laughing out loud but not the real one. I can perform well in my work but still unnoticed. Worst, I have source of income but I am in lack. So, I evaluated my life, my spirtual life rather. Then I realized that I maybe chose this but I am not called for this. I turned away but I need to go back to my Father God. I need to go back because I am originally made to be His Princess. I need to go back because He is waiting for me to go back. I need to go back because His love is all I need. I am shouting from within.. I am only belong to the God's kingdom!

For a day in your courts is better than a thousand elsewhere. I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of wickedness. - Psalms 84:10 So, I returned, this time not just because I need, but because I want, 100%, wholeheartedly. And in my returned, indeed Father God is waited and welcomed me with open arms. He didn't gave up on me. He even not taking His eyes from me even if I was playing around. He never stop protecting me while I was trying to burn myself. He never stop loving me even I knew, I stopped loving Him and His people. He breath on me everyday and night even if sometimes I am thinking stop breathing,*Sigh*.

What kind of Heavenly Father He is. Truly, His love is beyond us. Now I am ready to be a princess again in His Kingdom which what I am called for. To serve Him and His people. To love them seflessly.

The love the I am longing for was and is and will be given to me by His Son Jesus Christ. It's time to share it to others even without asking in return.

Now, for my brothers and sisters in Christ out there, who is in a prodigal sons and daughters moment. Go back home. Our Father also waiting for you.

Sincerely, The King's daughter.

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PS. You can send me prayer request by email and if you have questions or looking for counseling, pls do not hesitate to message me. :) It is my joy to help you and pray for you!

God bless! *hugs